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“Knock him out.” – Mama
My brain is about as well organized as the Walmart $5 dvd bin.
tonights theme: grab somebody sexy tell them hey, give me everything tonight!
I`m pretty sure God just pointed at me and laughed.
Dear God, thank you for all the animals, and plants, and insects, but were spiders really necessary?
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends` food looked like.
Whatever Mom, IF THAT`S EVEN YOUR REAL NAME!!!
Of course bears sh!t in the woods, they do most of their stuff in the woods, very few bears own a house.
Nobody wished me a happy birthday today, which isn´t surprising really, since it isn´t my birthday.
M?o?n?, T?u?e?s?, W?e?d?, T?h?u?r?s?, Friday !!!!
Whoever said time heals all wounds never had their leg bitten off by a shark.
After a night of heavy drinkin’ there’s one thing I can’t stand… and that’s up.
Women, we don`t say this enough, but thank you...Thank you for not killing us in our sleep. Sincerely, Men.
when in Rome get naked ;)
I’m glad to know that we will never have to worry about a lack of weathermen. I mean, I know at least a couple dozen on Facebook.