Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sorry I cut you off mid-sentence so I could sprint after an ice cream truck.
It`s Friday! High-five some sh!t!
Tip of the day: When there’s a will…find a way to be in it!
The recipe said "prick with a fork,",,,, but enough about me.
I had hopes and dreams. Now I have vodka and Facebook.
My daughter wants to know when the hamster we "planted" in the garden will start growing.
Relationships would be easier if people came with a “Clear History” button.
Feeling stressed out? Make a nice cup of hot tea and then spill it in the lap of whoever`s bugging you.
You know you`re broke when your Bologna Does Not have a first name!
The day I understand females will be the day i`ll be officially known as Jesus
You don`t have to be crazy to work here ... We`ll train you.
A group of toddlers is called a migraine
Offering a hobo $5 from across the street is my version of Frogger.
I’m trisexual, as in, I’ll try to have sex with you.
All I’m saying is, you’ve never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time.