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The toughest part of a job interview is finding the exact right moment to go in for the kiss.
I`m a bitch ... What`s your excuse?
I didn´t outsmart you. You just outdumbed me.
My New Year`s resolution was to lose 15 lbs by the middle of February. I have 20 lbs. to go.
I`d do anything to lose 20lbs. Well, except for eating healthy or working out.
If you`ve Liked more than 15 of my posts over the past year, I assume you`re okay with me putting you down as a personal reference on this job application, k?
I never met a teenager driving a luxury car that I didn’t hate.
Take my advice, I’m not going to use it.
I think I may have just inadvertently accomplished something!!!
If I share my food with you, it’s either because I love you a lot, or because it fell on the floor and I don’t want it.
If you aren`t sure if you like someone, here`s a test: imagine they`re dead. Now, was it an accident or did you murder them?
Things could be worse ... sex could be fattening
I have very poor ninja skills when it comes to staring at cleavage.
"I want to be cuddled, but I want to be alone. Being crazy is hard." - WOMEN
The moment when someone says a word and everyone laughs, including you and then someone goes, "Do you know what that means?" and you go "No, not really."