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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Im a leader not a follower... unless its a dark place then f*ck that your going first!
Click Like, if you hate being told what to do.
"That`s crazy" is the perfect response when you haven`t been listening.
If there`s one thing that I`ve learned it`s, that I should have learned way more than one thing.
The home cooked pizza box says to cook the pizza between 14 and 16 minutes. That`s 15 minutes, right? I`m not reading too much into it?
There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.
You`re never too old to be spanked ...If you play your cards right.
Trust me ...... I can`t believe I`m still here either.
As I slid my finger slowly down her G string, I thought to myself "this is a nice guitar"
Being able to eat while watching Hannibal makes you more of a psychopath than anyone on the show.
If looks could kill, mirrors would be the leading cause of death among ugly people
It may appear like I`m doing nothing, but i`m actively waiting for my problems to go away!!!
No matter how fast you run, the serial killer always walks faster.
I hate when I`m admiring my good looks from a car`s window reflection and the people inside think I`m staring at them.
I prefer a slowie not a quickie.