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WARNING. Content on my Facebook page may offend. But I don`t f*cking care
I`ve single handedly defeated my erection.
Allow me to explain myself via a new communication method I like to call "Interpretive Napping"
Some of you take selfies from so close up, I`m beginning to wonder if you`re a T-Rex.
I wish the guy who made the vacuum cord would chat with the guys that make phone chargers.
Law enforcement`s cracking down on texting while driving, but there`s no law against standing up and playing saxophone through your sunroof.
When people say "You look so familiar" responding with "Were we in prison together?" is almost always a conversation killer.
I think instead of doing laundry I`m just going to buy a second hamper...
After joining Facebook, my TV became radio.
The dollar store needs to go ahead and open up a few gas stations.
I pretend my bruises are sex bruises instead of I tripped over my cat while trying a new dance move bruises.
If we aren`t meant to have late night snacks then why is there a light in the fridge.
change your birthday on facebook to today, see how many people say happy birthday for APRIL FOOLS!!!! lol
A world without Facebook would be much more productive.
Ain`t no sandwich when she`s gone.