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But in my most troublesome times, I looked down and saw only one set of footprints. I asked the Lord why, and He replied that sand people ride single file to hide their numbers.
I sure buy a lot of alcohol. Hope I`m not a shopaholic.
You had me at, "we`ll make it look like an accident."
Every cigarette you smoke takes 5 minutes off your student loan debt.
I hate when I put food in the microwave & it starts makin explosive noises so I check and it’s cold like why you gotta play me like that.
It`s pretty amazing how many times my daughter likes to say "it`s not fair!" considering she has never had to pay taxes
It`s not that I`m judging you, but you hung your toilet roll the wrong way and I just think it best if we never spoke again.
People go to the bar hoping for two things ... to get hammered or to get nailed.
You said you wanted my advice, but I see you haven’t f*cked off or died yet.
I hate to be one of those who post cliffhangers but...
I looked up "thesaurus" in my thesaurus and it says "Don`t be a smart-ass".
is experiencing life at a rate of several wtf´s a minute
If I laugh randomly when you are talking to me, don`t worry, the voices are telling me jokes.
The best way to hang up on someone is to do it in the middle of your own sentence, that way they will just think you lost service.
If one door closes and another one opens, seek help your house is haunted.