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You wouldn`t believe all the cool stuff I find when I`m under my bed playing.
Relationship status: I get the remote to myself!
There is a fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”
Watching game shows is like watching porn, you get excited watching someone else get lucky
Shout out to the new couples still holding in farts.
I took a pic of my self a few days ago. Now I`m playing with it. Yeah...I`m playing with my selfie.
The monent of triumph when your bag is the first off the plane.
I`m gonna start a secret porn industry and call it "the Illuminaughty".
My screensaver is a screenshot of a bunch of spreadsheets so my boss doesn’t notice when I haven’t moved my mouse in an hour.
The first step is admitting you’re a problem.
I`m not a gamer, but I can be as lazy as one.
How do nudist clean their glasses?
Announcement: .. the Time Travelers Meeting scheduled for today will be held last Thursday
The worst part of owning an invisibility cloak is trying to remember where you hung it up.
I`ve finally stopped drinking for good ... And I`ve started drinking for evil.