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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I hide from people too, so I get it unicorns, I get it.
"It seemed like a good idea at the time"............................... An often used phrase in a lot of my memories.
You’d think β€œattractive neighbor leaves curtains open” would appear in more real estate listings.
Million Dollar Idea: Hire a bunch of people with OCD and start a cleaning company.
Things I didn`t learn in high school... how to pay bills buy a house apply for college but thank goodness I can graph a polynomial function.
My house isn’t dirty, I just have everything on display.
I spend 90% of my time at the gym choosing the right song for my workout.
They say `No news is good news,` but I think it just means I have a lazy paperboy.
My favorite part of country music is the part where I change the station.
I’m pretty sure I could start a new life with only the crap in my car.
If you want to keep a secret from me, put it inside a Facebook event invitation.
If I were to give up Sarcasm, that would leave interpretive dance as my only means of communication.
What if your soulmate is over there on Twitter while you`re here on Facebook?
Twerking is the crocs of dancing.
I`d rather be someone`s shot of whiskey than everyone`s cup of tea.