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If zombies ever do attack just go to Costco, they have walls, years of food and supplies, and zombies can’t get in without a Costco membership.
Three decades of playing Tetris have apparently not improved our nation`s ability to stow overhead luggage.
"I love Justin bieber" well I love McDonalds but you don`t see me making an account pretending to be a f*cking chicken nugget do you...
Congrats on your secret admirer! Must be nice having someone who’s ashamed to admit they like you!
Normal people scare me ... But not as much as I scare them. :)
Timehop... reminding us that the stupid people we know today were just as stupid 5 years ago.
I hate lying to kids but my daughter asked me what twerking was and I told her it was when identical twins go to each others` jobs
You make me feel "I`m-typing-this-with-my-middle-finger" angry.
No, I don`t need a Fitbit. I can count to 45 by myself.
H.A.T.E.R.S. : Having Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success?
The awkward moment when you realise you’re wrong in an argument, but you keep arguing anyway.
Wow, that Macy`s parade is crazy! The Kanye West float just cut off Snoopy and said Woodstock can fly better!
If women kept their feelings to themselves would they explode? Guess we`ll never know.
I took two years of Spanish in high school, so ordering off the Taco Bell menu is super easy for me.
I don’t have a bucket list, but my f*cket list is a mile long.