Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Having a contest with my couch and my washing machine to see who has more money. So far I`m in 3rd.
If you tell someone your Birthday and they automatically know your astrological sign, run as fast as you can away from them.
I didn`t want to grow up; I just wanted to be able to reach the cookies.
No matter how old you are ... swingsets are cool.
oh look at the time, it`s time to not care
If you’re gonna keep being so attractive, I’m gonna need you to make out with me.
I dreamed about you last night, and so you know; Shame on you!!
I`d have better people skills if I worked with better people.
Rick Ross be rapping about cars he can`t even fit in.
This relationship is going to be weird if you keep pretending I`m not your boyfriend.
If you pour two beers into one glass, it becomes just one beer.
Yeah... I may be old... But I`m still hot..... They just come in flashes now!
If you think this week was a drag, wait till you see what happens next week!
My ex-girlfriend broke up with me because she says I was obsessed with football. I was shocked. I mean we were together for 3 1/2 seasons.
STD`s aren`t like pokémon, your not suppose to catch`em all!