Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
3 things I will never understand: 1. The meaning of life. 2. The universe. 3. How Spongebob & Patrick made those sounds effects in that box.
This bank pen tastes like it`s been in a lot of other people`s mouths
The block button is just the adult version of sticking your fingers in your ears and repeating "I can`t hear you" over and over
Saw a girl with three lip piercings, took everything in my power not to attach a shower curtain
In my head I sound like the Queen of England bitches!
Teaching your dog to fetch a beer is smart. Fetching it from the neighbours house is genius.
These ‘energy saving’ light-bulbs are bullsh!t. They take just as much effort to screw in as the ordinary ones.
You`re about 8 beers away from being my type.
Nothing says "party" like a red plastic cup.
I don`t normally poop with the door open, but I don`t want to miss the in flight movie
Somethings are best unsaid but my brain to mouth filter has never worked right.
Airplanes: offering you the comforts of gas station food/drinks at popular night club prices
This weekend, a woman in colorado gave birth inside a Wal Mart. Apparently, its the first thing found in a Wal Mart not made in China.
You ever think that maybe the reason geese are always honking is because they`re flying too close together?
I won employee of the month!!!…. again! I love being self employed.