Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Netflix is raising rates again? Man, whoever`s password I`m using has got to be pissed!
Lil Wayne is 10% African-American and 90% tattoo.
When I buy a horse, I`ll call it `MY FACE`..imagine all the ladies screaming `come on my face`
It`s impossible to look like a bad ass while eating a snow cone.
Mashed potatoes really beg the question: “what else could we massively improve by squashing the hell out of it?”
Some people should use a glue stick instead of chap stick.
I`ll never fly Virgin Airlines. Why would anyone want to fly an airline that doesn`t go all the way.
Talk to me long enough and you`ll realize why I`m single.
I may or may not have just "Whipped my Hair Back and Forth".......
Creating a password in this day and age After the 9th try OKNowI`mReallyMad50BoiledCabbagesUpYourArseIfYouDon`tGiveMeAccessImmediately! `Sorry, that password is already in use`
If you ever think someone’s too cute to talk to just remember that they poop too.
Walking out of a store after not buying anything and thinking, “try not to act like a criminal, try not to act like a criminal”
For a guy who makes as many bad decisions as I do, I feel like I should be having more fun.
BOOK FACT: If you took every book at Barnes and Noble and laid them end to end you get thrown out by security and banned from returning.
~WARNING~ I will more than likely offend you at some point in time