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I just love having sex with you...Next time I hope you are there with me.
My wife thinks I`m at work. My boss thinks I`m home sick. These ducks think I`m awesome because I have the bread.
I love arguing with you so much, I`ll bring a Ouija board to your funeral.
If cleanliness is next to godliness, then my car is Satan`s chariot.
On a scale of 1 to "Me".. how smart are you?
When cleaning my house: 1% Cleaning 30% Complaining 69% Playing with stuffs that I just found
My wife is a sex object. Every time I want to have sex, she’ll object.
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.
In the interest of improving the workplace, my company has put up signs that say: CAUTION. OPEN DOORS SLOWLY ... My best time so far is 7 min.
I am not real pumped up about the Super Bowl this year!
First Ebola case in USA , and the Walking Dead starts next week... brb gonna go buy a crossbow.
My wife and I are pretty upset. It looks like someone broke in and surfed porn on my computer. They didn`t touch anything else, so that`s good.
How many exercise/workout videos does a person have to buy before seeing results?
I don’t think my inner child is ever moving out.