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Nothing says "My balls are kept in a jar inside her purse" quite like a joint Facebook account
Hope I never go to jail, because I haven`t memorized a phone number since 2003.
If you see anything posted from me that involves something normal or appropriate, it is not me. I believe I`ve been hacked.
Hey dude who flipped me off in the Subway parking lot for honking at you, you left your dinner on top of your car.
Lady: what Colour are my eyes? Man: 34D
I hate when beggars rattle their cup full of coins at me. Yes i know! You have more money than me, you don`t have to rub it in..
I realized I eat too much fast food so I decided I would start cooking for myself. Does anyone here know how to "mcnugget" a chicken?
Statistics show the number one cause of failed relationships is opening your mouth and letting words come out.
This is my first lame status of the year. Enjoy!
I`m awesome...just ask me...!!!!
Marriage: When dating goes too far.
All i wanna know is how this website knew my name is Guest?
I`m fairly certain that kids only have ears for decorative purposes.
Thought I saw a kangaroo today but turned out to be a greyhound having a dump !
every woman iz beautuful n her unique way, smtimz it needs sm amount of alcohol to see with