Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Let me be clear, I don`t want to die alone. However I want to be left completely alone until that moment
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!
My phone battery lasts longer than relationships these days
I choked on a carrot this afternoon and all I could think was "I bet a cupcake wouldn`t have done this to me."
I sleep better naked.. why can´t the flight attendants understand this?
That very akward moment when Shakirah`s hips lie!
I have to hand it to people who lead a double life ... I can barely handle the one I have.
Today, I`m really gonna give it my nothing
If at first you don’t succeed, look in the trash for the instructions.
Abaaabbbbaaabbbaabbbaabb..... Long time no ` C ` ; P
Social media is great if you like socializing without wearing pants.
They say 1 in 3 people cheat in a relationship. I`m not sure if its my wife or my girlfriend.
Just once, I`d like to clock out from work by sliding down a dinosaur.
Remember before we met? I miss those days.
Yesterday I fell off a 50 foot ladder. It`s probably a good thing I was on the bottom step...