Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A zip line but from the sofa to the fridge
My next relationship will be with someone who thinks "Wine" is a perfectly acceptable answer when he asks what`s for dinner.
Boss: You`re on another break already? Me: No. This is the same one you saw me on an hour ago.
I celebrate 4/20 on January 5th, because I know how to reduce fractions unlik the rest of you morons.
My kids wanna have a water balloon fight later, I just got done putting mine in the freezer... Wanna bet I win...
You call them French Fries…I call them Edible Ketchup Shovels.
That awkward moment when u start telling a story only to realise no one is listening so you slowly fade out and pretend to have said nothing.
Whoever said, "All men are created equal", obviously has never received any d!ck pics
Most problems can be solved with nudity.
Lazy Rule #23 :No Shower Is Needed, If your Not Going Anywhere...
Thought I was having deja-vu. But it turns out, I do the exact same things every day.
I`ll be back in five minutes. If I`m not, read this again :D
If the Sahara Desert had a motto it would be "Long time, no sea."
Wow, it`s beautiful outside. I should probably do something. Like close the blinds so there isn`t a glare on my screen.
My Facebook account would benefit from a breathalyzer-activated password.