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Before you decide to spend less time on social media... make sure you go to every social media website and tell everyone.
Night people could take over the world if we weren’t so busy finding something good on TV.
The older I get the more I understand Squidward`s anger.
I want someone to look at me the way I look at chocolate cake.
Judge me if you will, just keep the verdict to yourself.
"Cannot connect to network. Reset your wireless router." "Umm, okay, but what if my router is in my neighbour`s house? Should I call him?"
Are you always this stupid? or are you just making special effort today...
Bring a hedgehog into the library and frantically ask the clerks where they keep the reverse spell casting books.
I`m not funny, I`m just really mean and people think I`m joking.
Don`t mix Viagra with Iron Supplements. It will cause you to spin around and point north.
Golf is such a strange game. You shout four, shoot six, and write down five.
No means no! Unless she`s dyslexic; then it`s on!
If you think about it, before the first mirror was invented, if you didn’t live near a body of water, you had no idea what you looked like.
Driving a Dodge doesn`t automatically make you a defensive driver.
Being a parent means often saying your child is shy rather than "he sees how creepy u are, that`s why he doesn`t want to shake your hand".