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Admit it at some point in your life you have tried to close the fridge slowly to see when the light goes out...
The reason Rump Roast is called Rump Roast is because nobody would eat it if it was called Cow A$$
sometimes i look at people and think really, thats the sperm that won.
Sorry, I didn’t get your message because I deleted it without listening.
I need to stop making things more complicated than they need to be. I`m adding that to my bucket Power Point presentation.
Is somebody not editing what I´m saying here???
I swear... my remote just decides to take random vacations sometimes.
This status has been censored by Facebook
Waved to my ex today, next time I might use all my fingers
If it`s true that spiders are more scared of me than I am of them, why have I never seen a spider crawl away screaming like a little girl?
If I ever start a band, I`m going to call it The Voices in My Head. Think of all the fun ways you can tell other people what you`re listening to...
I stopped watching the History Channel because it`s so outdated.
It would be so cool to be able to see an album of all the pictures you’ve accidentally photobombed in public.
Being fabulous all day makes me really, really tired.
Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents.