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Texting typos can change your life. "Having a great time wish you were her"
The olympics is the only time when you hear "Great execution by North Korea" and it seems okay.
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
Sometimes I worry that eating pizza isn`t a real sport.
My dog reacts to the vacuum cleaner the same way I react when my wife says "We need to talk".
Of course I plan to seize the day ... Eventually.
A German boy pushed his brother off a cliff. He then turned to his mother and said "Look Mom! No Hans!"
I am convinced that Kellogg`s works for our Government and all that Snap, Crackle, Pop is CODE.......
Don`t mistake my middle finger as an offer.
It scares me when the lights go out and it`s complete darkness. The first thing I think is ... OMG I just went blind!
I knew we were gonna be friends when you ran into that wall.
This is not the status message you are looking for .... Move along
She calls it cuddling. I call it strategic body placement for the war of the covers that is about to take place.
After Monday and Tuesday... even the week says WTF!
I just heard a woodpecker call me a `paranoid old weirdo` in morse code.