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As a man, EVERY month is `Breast Awareness Month` for me.
Invite me to your wedding . Invite me to go have fun , but please stop inviting me to your farm .
My first mistake was thinking she couldn`t hit a moving target.
My bed has no frame and sits directly on the floor because under-bed monsters are just one less thing I have to worry about now.
Pinatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you’ll get what you want.
If Shrek can find love, so can you. What I`m trying to say is, you look like Shrek
Here`s to ignoring our real problems and getting outraged about something on the internet.
Miley Cyrus and Justin Beiber were both answers on Jeopardy tonight. The end is near........
Being married is 90% talking about what to have for dinner.
wassup pips! :-) no i don`t mean you guys pip, get it? piping?? haaahaaa... looks like i`m the only one laughing right? well it sounded funnier in my head (-_-)
If you can’t be a good example, then you’l just have to serve as a horrible warning
I`m old enough to remember being the tv remote.
Whenever I watch the TV show Friends, I imagine I`m the seventh friend, Dirk, who just stays home while all his friends do stuff without him.
If zombies attack the world, everyone will run and hide. Except for us gamers, of course. We`ve been waiting for this all our lives!
You can always tell if a guy masturbates a lot by looking at his hands. If you look closely, you’ll see a wedding ring.