Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

If you love something set it on fire, if it... no wait, is that right? sh!t! Be right back...
In actuality, Batman is just a more violent and dark version of Inspector Gadget.
Your just jealous because u don`t hear the voices.
I`ll just admire you from afar.. Or 500ft. That`s what this paper says.
Don`t judge me for things I did a few seconds ago, I`ve changed since then.
I may be delusional but at least I`m going to Mars in November.
Studies show that if you begin a sentence with "studies show," the internet will believe you.
This is my first status of 2017. Yeah, I thought it would be better too.
Why do guys cheat on pretty girls with ugly ones...?
Interesting fact: Prior to the creation of hummus and ranch dressing nobody ate uncooked vegetables.
It`s funny how this guy grating cheese over my pasta thinks I`m going to say stop.
No thanks, NASCAR. If I wanted to spend 8 hrs watching a car drive around in a big circle, I`d go on a road trip with my mom.
Not to brag, but most of the problems that take Dora the Explorer 30 minutes to figure out, I can solve in like 18-20 minutes.
One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.
You think you have a tough job? I clean the windows on automatic doors.