Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Personally, I believe that around 93% of the world`s population should run with scissors.
Beer is good, but beers are better.
It takes two people to lie....one to lie.....the other to listen
I don`t care how much you like the soap. Never leave a public restroom smelling your fingers.
Your gene pool should be drained, the area bleached & the ground burned & salted. But other than that you seem like a great person.
How come phones only get lost when they are on silent?
When a man talks dirty to a woman it`s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man it`s $3.95 per minute.
Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.
What do people mean "get ready for bed"? I am ALWAYS ready for bed.
Iām Not Arguing. Iām Simply Explaining Why Iām Right.
I hate getting paid and being broke all in the same day!! :(
i wasnt that drunk * "bro, you destroyed my mothers garden while screaming F*CK FARMVILLE!"*
Ohio - High in the middle, and round at the ends.
"LSD causes users to lose weight" Obviously. You can`t eat when a dragon is guarding the fridge.
If two donuts are stuck together it counts as one right?