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I saw a guy today at Starbucks. He had no smartphone, tablet or laptop. He just sat there drinking his coffee. Like a psychopath.
Apparently there`s enough room in my mouth to put more than one foot.
I have no fear of heights. I do, however have a fear of falling from heights.
There`s no life problem that a good "F*ck this shit" can`t solve.
I hate Cheetos stains on my peignoir.........
Is it safe to take off my Winter Solstice Glasses yet?
Commence six months of the clock in my car being wrong.
I just saved a ton of $ on Christmas presents by discussing politics on FB.
You will always be my best friend ... You know too much.
Helpful Tip: You can’t get in trouble for leaving work early if you disable the security cameras and crawl out the air-conditioning duct.
I used to be in a band called "missing cat". You`ve probably seen our poster.
We should remove the warning labels from everything and let the stupidity problem take care of itself.
I can`t believe people used to have to paint selfies.
"It`s not about who`s right or wrong."~ The person that is wrong
4 out of 5 voices in my head think the other voice is a douche...