Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

i joined new gym yesterday. i did 3 sets of selfies on each machine
A gun is like a coupon that works anywhere.
Heard the local weatherman say, "high in the thirties" & now I know the title to my autobiography.
Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you`ll get if you`re able to "fall asleep right now."
Getting back with your ex is like taking a shower and putting back on your dirty underwear.
My favorite hobbies are practical jokes and masturbation. I’m always trying to pull a fast one
Tyler on Facebook says he ran 1.7 miles this morning… So based on calculations, I have 35 minutes to ransack his house tomorrow morning.
Congrats on your secret admirer! Must be nice having someone who’s ashamed to admit they like you!
I don`t think boredom gets enough blame for the trouble it causes.
Inviting a friend to play Candy Crush Saga is like hosting an intervention and providing the crack.
Beauty is only a light switch away...
Cleavage is something you can look down on and approve of at the same time.
Sometimes I wish my dog could talk…then I remember all the things he has seen me do when I’m alone.
My wife told me to get a real job or pack my bags! She must be losing it! Who threatens someone with a vacation?
My boss told me that if I can`t show up sober then don`t bother coming to work tomorrow. Three day weekend!