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I`m thinking about investing some serious cash in gold....or maybe some other color.
I feel like a piece of corn in the digestive tract of life ~ I`m going through a lot of crap but I`m sure I`ll come out whole.
All I see on Facebook is penis, orgasm, bang him, bang her, bullwhip, masturbate, porn, tits, and then I read everyone else`s posts..
I fold my laundry just like everyone else. About 3 weeks after the dryer buzzes.
I hate it when I put on my apple bottom jeans and cannot find my boots with da fur!!
Did you know that one minute of kissing burns 26 calories? No wonder those sluts are so damn skinny.
If you`re a girl and you drink Vodka... there`s a high probability, I love you.
Never mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.
If “dress for the job you want” were true, there would be a lot more people wearing capes.
I’m taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see.
Drunk me absolutely loves creating awkward encounters for sober me.
No, I did not forget my password. I distinctly remember it being 8 asterisks.
My insomnia is getting worse. I was wide awake all day at work yesterday.
I say the things better left unsaid.
Is there anything more awkward than when you are singing along to a song on youtube and the music stops loading.