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Well kids, texting wasn`t always easy. In my day, you had to work for it. You had to want it. You need an S? You had to click that 7 button FOUR TIMES.
I`m running low on funny but I have plenty of sexy left.
"Slow and steady wins the race." Unless it`s one of those weird races that puts an emphasis on speed
Stalking is such a strong word. I perfer the term surveillance expert.
Abbreviation is an unnecessarily long word.
boss: why are you peeing on the floor? mikeski: i already filled up your coffee cup.
I`m 84% less productive in a swivel chair.
If you don`t like the way I drive then get off the hood of my car.
I hate it when people upload song lyrics as their status`s it reminds me of somebody i used to know
Time to get Star Spangled hammered. Happy 4th you crazy Americans.
I run a non-profit company. It`s not for a good cause or anything, I`m just not very good at business.
I hate it when I open my fridge and get punched by a bear... =/
Im switching some friends from my Facebook account to my Fakebook account.
There should be a mercy rule for how many pics a girl can upload from her vacation.
Facebook really needs a “pee on someone’s wall” option.