Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
A sofa is a vacation for your a$$...
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
If I had a time machine I`d set it to "back in the day", just to see what everyone is talking about.
I would be so pissed if someone shook me all night long.
I don`t need a personal trainer as much as I need someone to follow me around and slap unhealthy food out of my hands.
The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.
Always check the height of nearby ceiling fans before giving a toddler a ride on your shoulders... * How I learned this rule is not important.
LIKE if you talk to yourself and laugh because you’re just that hilarious.
Every time I go into my boss` office she tells me "take a seat". I have 14 now.
A hot woman telling me about her boyfriend is like setting money on fire in front of a homeless person.
Today is National animals day, please take a moment to remember your ex :p:p:p.
How about a cooking show called "Cookin crap in the Microwave".
"That`s too much bacon." -Nobody ever
Nothing says you mean business more than putting on a bib before you eat a girl out