Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I have an oven with a "stop time" button. It´s probably meant to be "stop timer" but I don´t touch it, just in case.
I`m a beer enthusiast. The more beer I drink, the more enthusiastic I become.
You should never lie through your teeth. Open your mouth and speak properly.
If I had to choose between Star Wars and Star Trek, I`d probably choose beer.
If you play my workday backwards, it’s actually a nice story about idiots getting less and less annoying.
Social networking sites is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves
L`oréal`s mascara makes your lashes 60% longer? Wow! They should make condoms.
I bet there`s a rapper trying to figure out a way to replace his teeth with LED lights
Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes...
I spend hours on Facebook and then think, “Well, that was pointless”
wants to rock and roll all night
If you feel like you’re about to punch someone, take a deep breath. Then exhale as you punch to get more power.
Everyone’s beautiful on the inside. Some people just need a few good stab holes to let that beauty out.
I failed my driver`s test. For the question "What do you do at a Red Light?" I said "Text and check Facebook."
.Monday: No. Tuesday: Ugh. Wednesday: Why. Thursday: Omg. Friday: Finally. Saturday: Yes. Sunday: Crying.