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There’s nothing wrong with enjoying free samples at the grocery store. Just make sure they’re samples. And free. And it’s a grocery store.
Remember the good old days when making the “duck face” involved 2 Pringles?
I just got off the couch and I think I accidentally did yoga or some $hit.
If you can’t be an athlete, be an athletic supporter.
I’m a lonely Status. I wish more people liked me.
Just a reminder that your coworkers aren`t going to get eaten by bears on their own. You have to make that happen. You have to want it.
Some people should use a glue stick for lip balm
Wtf neighbor I waved to you last week
Took my 3rd self-defense class, so if anyone feels like attacking me straight on, very slowly, w/ a fake knife in their right hand, BRING IT
To Do List: 1: Buy a knife 2: Call it kindness 3: Kill people with Kindness
Doormats are a gateway rug.
If pulled over, immediately ask the officer if they`ve been drinking in order to establish dominance.
We should be nicer to old people. When they walked uphill both ways in the snow they had to do it without an internet connection too.
The wifes exhausted as she`s had some hot steamy action lately, But at least the ironing basket is empty
Would you like a push on that mood swing of yours?