Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Ah Friday my second favorite F Word
I’m classically trained in the art of Nintendo.
Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.
Why did you have to take a half naked picture in front of a full length mirror to show off your new haircut?
Every semicolon I have ever used has been a complete guess.
The hostess said to sit wherever I want, but the couple at this table are giving each other weird looks and have totally stopped talking.
A bachelor party is a lot more appropriate after a divorce than before a wedding.
Don’t get me started. I don’t come with brakes.
I think people who use "go fly a kite" as an insult don`t really understand kites or insults.
I love Costco. You don`t go there thinking you`re gonna buy a 12-pack of watermelons but you`ll probably leave with one.
Just heard a lady say "When in doubt, get a pizza"... I don`t know who this woman is but she`s my new life coach.
Donald Duck, saying screw you to pants since 1934.
Sometimes I listen to strangers conversations and mentally give my opinion
Have you ever noticed that half way through the ColonialPenn insurance commercial, Alex Trebek tries to pull a Jedi-Mind-Trick on us.... "This is the insurance you are looking for." (I didn`t get enough sleep last night.)
When someone hands you a flyer, it’s like they’re saying here you throw this away.