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I`m definitely the drunkest person in this ball pit.
Do you ever have the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they aren`t talking?
I bet my road rage would be taken more seriously if I spoke German
Never make an arm wrestle bet with a guy who has been single for longer than 6 months.
There is no such thing as a dirty mind. Just a sense of humor with adult content.
I have over 500 facebook friends, and i want to say that i love you all...except for number 376 ..you`re a real a@@hole!!
When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it…
Karma’s only a bitch if you are.
There is nothing like sitting naked in a beanbag chair eating Cheetos. ...I sure hope they let me back in Walmart.
This "NORMAL" you speak of, doesn`t sound fun at all.
When I said I wanted to take it slow, I meant your life.
When I was younger I thought I was bipolar. Turns out I was just an a$$hole who was happy about it.
I hear lots of doctors are prescribing medical marijuana for arthritis. Given that arthritis is "inflammation of the joints", it`s fighting fire with fire!
Unless my horoscope says, "You will dread going to work and will most likely masturbate," then it is a crock of sh*t.
has a Massive drinking problem ... there is no alcohol in the house!