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I am the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Two girls riding their bikes on a cobble stone road. 1st girl: I never came this way before. 2nd girl: Me neither. It must be the cobble stones.
Just saw the book "Marriage for Dummies." ... Shouldn`t there be an "is" in there somewhere?
When I procrastinate, current me really expects a lot out of future me.
Why are we still testing on animals when there are pedophiles in prison.
Why can`t the ice cream man just get a freakin liquor license already
People who describe things as “better than sex” are having the wrong kind of sex.
I`d take Cap`n Crunch more seriously if his eyebrows weren`t on his hat.
What am I taking to the Family Thanksgiving feast? Tupperware.
Some people repeat themselves when they`re drunk & some people repeat themselves when they`re drunk.
I would know if I was insane, the voices would tell me.
I think I`m going to run for political office, so people can dig up dirt on me. I have been wanting to piece together my twenties.
Just saw a coyote next to the highway... I hope this tunnel ahead isn`t just painted on.
First you told me to be myself now you`re telling to me not be an idiot. Make up your mind woman!
My dance moves are somewhere between “dog being shocked by an electric fence” and “squirrel crossing the road.”