Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I am the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Two girls riding their bikes on a cobble stone road. 1st girl: I never came this way before. 2nd girl: Me neither. It must be the cobble stones.
Just saw the book "Marriage for Dummies." ... Shouldn`t there be an "is" in there somewhere?
When I procrastinate, current me really expects a lot out of future me.
Why are we still testing on animals when there are pedophiles in prison.
Why can`t the ice cream man just get a freakin liquor license already
People who describe things as β€œbetter than sex” are having the wrong kind of sex.
I`d take Cap`n Crunch more seriously if his eyebrows weren`t on his hat.
What am I taking to the Family Thanksgiving feast? Tupperware.
Some people repeat themselves when they`re drunk & some people repeat themselves when they`re drunk.
I would know if I was insane, the voices would tell me.
I think I`m going to run for political office, so people can dig up dirt on me. I have been wanting to piece together my twenties.
Just saw a coyote next to the highway... I hope this tunnel ahead isn`t just painted on.
First you told me to be myself now you`re telling to me not be an idiot. Make up your mind woman!
My dance moves are somewhere between β€œdog being shocked by an electric fence” and β€œsquirrel crossing the road.”