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Money is the root of all evil. For more information, send $10 to me.
You poor thing. You don`t even realize you`re batsh!t crazy, do you?
I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.
I was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently, "A way out" wasn`t the right answer.
Some people post because they need attention and validation. Not me. (Thanks for reading this, the `Like` button is below)
If your phone doesn´t ring it´s me.
I was way too drunk last night to drive home. So I drove to another party.
Getting drunk and listening to loud music solves 87% of all life`s problems
I`m not saying I can perform miracles or anything, but when the Taco Bell employee isn`t looking,, I can turn water into Sprite.
If you want to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 9am, don`t be open.
Rejected Olympic Events: Javelin Catch... Jello Shotput... Border Fencing... Cardboard Boxing... Menstrual Cycling... Salad Tossing... Wrestling Demons...
She lost me at, "I don`t watch football."
When I see someone yawn, I yawn. I wish it was the same with exercising....
I need a new bad decision.
I made the mistake of asking Siri what women want....she has been talking non-stop for the last 3 days.