Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You can never read a doctor`s prescription, but you can sure read his bill
If running on a treadmill was the only way to recharge our phones we would be the healthiest mofos on the planet.
My therapist told me today that I need to stop talking to inanimate objects, but I mean he`s just a lamp so what does he really know anyway
"Try to score a goal. Don`t use your hands. See you afterwards." - Soccer coaches
Boobs: Proof that men can pay attention to two things at once.
The TV is so loud! But not quite loud enough to make me get up and get the remote.
F*ck It - My final thought before making decisions.
I can`t help but feel insulted when that voice on the speaker calls me a Walmart shopper.
If you people knew how expensive, time consuming and hard this stalking stuff is you wouldn`t freak out every time you see me in your bushes.....geesh
It`s a small world, but I wouldn`t want to paint it.
Things could be worse ... sex could be fattening
My wife and I have been happily married for two years. 1997 & 2004
We`re all just nudists in disguise...
Some people are too chipper early in the morning. They don`t realize how bad it is for their health.....until I`m choking them
I just don`t think a partridge in a pear tree would make a great gift