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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I`m not a psychologist,,, but I remember when a Hot Wheels track magically cured 80% of ADHD
Shouldn`t there have been at least one scene in The Karate Kid where Daniel`s mom was like "Why are you constantly in that old man`s shed?"
If by sexy you mean me licking the donut icing off my fingers then yes I can be damn sexy.
I just want to read, have a snack, then take a nap. Basically, I just want to be in kindergarten again.
If you ask me, every Friday is a Good Friday.
I canΒ΄t wait for summer. One of my highlights of summer is talking into the fan to hear my robot voice.
This is my first lame status of the year. Enjoy!
Never squat with your spurs on
Did you know that DNA actually stands for "National Dislectic Association"
Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I`d like to read a medication bottle and see "May cause extreme sexiness."
Only awesome people are allowed to β€˜LIKE’ this status!
I`m 0-9 on finding secret rooms behind bookcases.
I don`t know what I`d do without coffee...Probably twenty five to life in the state penitentiary.
I`ve never heard an alarm going off on a car worth stealing.
If your day was that bad, why do you assume we want to know about it?