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Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? I still have to get up and take the disc out. It`s like having a remote to open the fridge.
After 20 yrs of marriage, my best move is to clean something unexpectedly.
Pretty much always 3-5 seconds away from just laying down wherever I am.
When I found out my toaster wasn`t waterproof, I was shocked!
Remember when AT&T told you to "reach out and touch someone" and you ended up with that restraining order? ... Good times!
The worst about the weekend?? The ending part.
The most amazing thing about the internet is how it allows you, with the click of a few buttons, to do absolutely nothing with your life
Cinderella is my favorite fairy tale about how foot size is the best way to recognize someone.
Me: GUESS WHO BOUGHT A MEGAPHONE!? Neighbor: Get out of my house! Me: You`re not even guessing.
Why did they send me to this white room? Do they think I`m crazy? Do they think I`m ...HOLY CRAP THE WALLS ARE FLUFFY!!!
Before coffee: Hates everybody. After coffee: Feels good about hating everybody.
It doesn`t matter if you don`t like my personality... I have several more!
I hate it when TV shows say they contain "adult situations" but then don`t show anyone going to a job they hate, and paying their bills.
I may be stupid but im also dumb! :D
I`ve spotted six Pokémon today but I don`t have the game so I may need new meds...