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A fun gym game is to drag your treadmill behind someone else`s, and then run with a determined glare while holding a bat.
If the cigarette tax is meant to discourage smoking, is the income tax meant to discourage working?
Minnesota is my favorite state that sounds like it`s a small soft drink.
Why aren`t they called A$$teroids instead of hemorrhoids???
Too bad the little guy "Tattoo" from Fantasy Island isn`t around anymore. They could ask HIM where the plane is!
I am convinced that Kellogg`s works for our Government and all that Snap, Crackle, Pop is CODE.......
There’s so many people I’d love to get the silent treatment from
Why am I always right but people still ignore me...?
Mary had a little lamb,,the midwife fainted
I’m convinced that the employees of McDonalds were just customers who could pay and are working off their bills.
“Dad, I’m hungry.” “Hi, Hungry. I’m Dad.” - Every time.
It`s never going to work out between Mario and the Princess. Most of the time she`s on a whole other level.
The problem with this generation? The cartoons suck.
Water is the most essential element of life, because without water, you can`t make coffee.
I use my imagination to solve problems. And by imagination, I mean booze.