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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I just can`t help it ... Sarcastic bitch is built-in.
I keep forgetting how bad my memory has become
That moment you realize that the person who proofread Hitler`s speeches was indeed a Grammar Nazi.
When I`m in a good mood I act like I`m in a bad mood so nobody approaches me and ruins my good mood.
Just found a hole in my sock and now I`m worried that the whole drawer might be pregnant.
I am starting to think I will never be old enough to know better.
If you`re stuck in a group text, one easy way to get out is to throw your phone in the ocean and start a new life.
People with the loudest car audio systems usually have the worst taste in music.
I can`t help but feel insulted when that voice on the speaker calls me a Walmart shopper.
I go into Best Buy and ask "Where are your most expensive yet least guarded items?" Then someone is always nearby when I have questions.
Why can`t everyday be football Sunday?
hates when Iยดm singing along with the radio and the artist messes up the words!
Sometimes, I`m offended at how easily offended some people get.
You would think a popular place like the Krusty Krab would have more than two employees.
Get Dora and Boots on this missing plane case now, Dora solves the case everytime