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What I lack in height, I make up for in kitchen counter climbing ability.
Hey! Did any of you see my........ Oh ! Never mind... :D How much of you said that before? heee heee hee!
Feeding my kid cold pizza. They will be off to college soon and preparation is the key to success.
When I`m really bored at work I like to write "I`m watching you" on the toilet paper a few squares in just to mess with people.
There is no evidence that exists that life should be taken seriously.
I hate it when people call dogs "stupid". I mean, when was the last time you saw a dog step in human poop?
How to meet a girl: 1) Walk into a bar. 2) Shout “Heroes in a half shell.” 3) When a girl yells back “Turtle Power,” marry her.
This guy told me that playing the voilin is the best way to calm you down. I bet he never tried smashing it over someone`s head.
You move into my house, delete all my porn, decorate every wall with rooster pictures, talk incessantly, leave hair everywhere and are too tired for sex?? Sounds great, let`s do it!!
I bet my road rage will be taken seriously once I get a car.
College is expensive, BUT your student ID saves $3 at the movies. So really it pays for itself if you go to the theater 30,000 times.
If you don`t like the way I drive then get off the hood of my car.
I give up on life! I have better luck playing Monopoly...or Clue...
Facebook stalking? BAH! In my day, we used to root through people`s garbage.
i dont have drain bramage.