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Make somebody happy today... mind your own business!!!
Vegetables are a must on my diet. I am eating Carrot cake, Zucchini bread and Pumpkin pie.
The women at this gym act like nobody’s ever tried taking their measurements before.
I`m an outdoorsy kind of guy, I like to drink beer outdoors
I should probably be in a relationship just for the supervision.
The sight of naked cleavage reduces a man`s ability to reason by 50% ... Per boob.
Facebook is serious. I put more thought into whether or not to accept a friend request than whether or not to sleep with someone.
Have you guys seen the new documentary about white trash? I only saw the trailer.
I feel like landlords who don’t allow dogs but DO allow children, don’t know very much about children.
Stop complaining about the rain. Cause rain makes corn and corn makes whiskey.
i got a dig bick..........how many read that wrong
I can`t wait to be ashamed of what I do this weekend
Nice try speed bumps, it`s a rental.
Newton`s third law of emotion. For every male action there is a female overreaction.
I can`t take this long distance relationship anymore.. Fridge, you`re coming to my room.