Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My nose is "running", that`s all the exercise I can handle for one day.......
I went to the store and saw that Duracell batteries were on sale just before Valentine`s Day. Someone is a marketing genius.
**TORNADO WARNING** Everyone head to Giants Stadium. Safest place to avoid a touch down.
Just rescued a Coca Cola that was trapped in the fridge!
75% of my current net worth is in gift cards.
I`ve heard that men that are married live longer, but i`ve also heard that men that have sex live longer. Anybody know which one of them is true?
Facebook- to help future generations discover if there`s ever been any mental illness in the family.
If your single and you know it…Pet your cat!
Of course the Pilgrims had a lot to be thankful for, all their in-laws were back in Europe.
If being lazy paid, damn dude I must be a billionaire.
Real friends show me their boobs
How strange, some guy just waved half of a peace sign at me...
Man I love watching women`s curling in the Olympics. It`s the only time I get to drink beer while cheering on women sweeping and no one slaps me.
I only party on 2 occasions. 1. When it’s my birthday 2. When it’s not…
I will admit, my statuses sound a bit different when read aloud by the prosecuting attorney.