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Don’t tell me what to do unless you’re naked.
Coffee...Meet your Maker!
Really Google Autocomplete? You honestly think I want to search for "hardcore poem"?
The statement ‘Hey! Calm down!’ has a zero to no success rate of getting someone to calm down.
Just ordered a Fitbit and my bank called to see if my card was stolen.
A lot of people cry when they chop onions. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.
Some people are like rain clouds. Once they f*ck off, it`s a beautiful day.
F*ck It - My final thought before making decisions.
Its sad that we live in a world that puts words into the dictionary if enough stupid people use it.
Hey guys with the super loud mufflers on their cars. I used to put a baseball card in my bicycle wheel spokes. I was 12.
“I need to stop,” I whispered as I clicked next episode.
The "Beware of Cat" sign posted outside my house doesn`t seem to be having the desired affect.
There are no absolutes in this world. Except vodka.
So many fun things to say ... too many relatives on Facebook to post!
Sometimes when you first meet someone you just know you want to spend the rest of your life ... Avoiding them