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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

"Ramen." - Scooby Doo finishing a prayer.
You never know whats going on in your life until you’re f*cked up.
If you like someone, pretend they`re a charger and you`re an iPhone on 1%. Run to them. Grab them. Plug them in. Wait, I lost the metaphor.
Be nice to a nerd. Prevent a super-villain.
I sometimes ask myself, "What would Jesus do?", and then I think, Jesus wouldn`t be caught up in this sh*t.
All I`m saying is you don`t see many neck tattoos on Jeopardy.
If I don’t talk to myself, who will?
The day I understand females will be the day i`ll be officially known as Jesus
If I knew how to backflip, I`d never walk anywhere.
If he`s dumb enough to send you a generic message in a mass text...be smart enough to reply to all "I still haven`t gotten my period."
Santa gets all the credit and I get all the debt.
As a Harry Potter fan, I wanted to go to Hogwarts. As a Hunger Games fan, not so much...
I just saw a disclaimer that said "don`t try this at home", so I tried it at my neighbors house.
is giving everyone permission to steal, and use this status.
Sleep is my drug, my bed is my dealer, and my alarm clock is police.