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Transformation Tuesday! Throwback Thursday! Flashback Friday! Never underestimate a woman`s ability to find a reason to post a selfie.
It doesn`t matter whether the glass is half empty or half full. There`s clearly room for more Alcohol
What is the difference between a trapeze artist and a supermodel?. The trapeze artist has a cunning stunt.
OMG you guys! Almost hit a jogger while i was taking a selfie and driving today...so please you guys, be careful, do NOT jog.
It`s crazy that your brain can calculate where to put your hand to catch a 98 mph fastball... But won`t keep your mouth shut when a woman is angry
All I ask is to one day live in a house with secret passages.
Men use love to get sex...women use sex to get love...I use coupons to get pizza!
I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. “Alright, get in the basket”
If Freud was alive today he would probably be awesome at telling "Yo Momma" jokes.
My husband and I are having a serious fight. Do you think I should let him know about it?
I hope that man who was walking in memphis found out the way he really felt
I can’t afford Disney World so we go to the biggest hill on my street and my kids wait an hour before I roll them down in my office chair.
Everyone`s self worth should only be measured by how useful they would be in the zombie apocalypse.
"Wow! That Lean Cuisine really filled me up!" ... said no one, ever.
I hope when I die Charlie Sheen`s life flashes before my eyes.