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Anyone else see the irony in Disney World?.. You know, the fact that it`s a giant human trap, ...set by a mouse.
Wait...so the "c-word" isn`t co-worker?
I see you`re busy. I`ll come back later and ruin your free time.
There are many different ways one can save energy, but my favorite by far is this recliner.
Is it wrong, to put people on your bucket list?
When you put ‘aspiring’ in front of your chosen profession. What I hear is: I’m unemployed.
I was told today to look at my life from a different perspective. I`m lying on the floor now and the shit still looks f*cked up.
You look like I need another drink
In my experience, the quickest way to escape Jury Duty? As they read out the charges, yell out, "Oh c`mon...even I`ve done THAT!"
hmmmm...halo or horns today??
Can you do me a favour? Stand in front of my car, I need to test my brakes.
I wish electronics would scream a little bit when you unplugged them.
Hey mother in law.... Don`t tell me how to raise my kids. Im still trying to raise yours.
what I hate about technology is that even my book ran out of batteries
Trail Mix: M&Ms with obstacles