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New Years Eve. It takes 24,367 bolts to put a car together and only 1 nut to spread it all over the road, please don`t drink and drive and become the nut
Always be yourself, unless you can be Batman, always be Batman.
Sarcasm is just one of the many services I offer to people who ask stupid questions.
Renewed my "Man Card" today, by going out in the cold, drizzly weather to cut firewood. In other news, police are investigating sightings of a chainsaw wielding maniac in the my area. I hope the catch that nut job!
The perfect time for a snack is while you’re waiting for another snack to finish cooking.
Zombies and I have a lot in common; we both walk around aimlessly looking for something to eat.
That awkward moment when you realise you have way more internet friends than real friends.
Fact: Turtles can breathe through their butts. And I thought I had bad morning breath.
I don`t mean to brag, but my posts are enjoyed by well over 20 people worldwide...
I`ve noticed that the squirrels are gathering nuts for the winter. Couple of my friends are missing...
I love sleeping, but I never want to go to bed early.
Some people are just beautifully wrapped boxes of crap.
Will someone please tell ugly girls with small boobs that their opioion doesnt really matter.
If I say "I don`t know, let me look", I`m really just spinning around in my chair a few times while you`re on hold.
Me: I must be out of my mind. Me: You and me both.