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That logical moment when you`re watching Home Alone 2 wondering how child services haven`t taken him away from his parents yet.
Did you know that if you put a finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds like Pacman.
Doing absolutely nothing on the weekends has started to feel more fun than actually going out.
Sometimes I miss being in a relationship, but then I look at my wallet and I feel alright again.
Feeding my kid cold pizza. They will be off to college soon and preparation is the key to success.
If someone`s mean to you, just lean in and whisper "I`m a Barbie girl in a Barbie world" to them & get that monstrosity stuck in their head.
How long do I microwave this 14 lb turkey?
People hear my southern accent and automatically assume I`m stupid. Let me tell you something right now. That is just a coincidence.
Do gun manuals haue a trouble shooting section?
In a new study women with large a$$es live longer………the men who tell them live distinctively shorter lives.
Here`s hoping the wind at your back doesn`t come from the corned beef and cabbage you had for lunch. Happy St. Patrick`s Day!
It’s always a special moment when you finally get to hear those three words you’ve been waiting for……. “Your order’s ready.”
If at first you don`t succeed, find out where she lives.
You don`t know pissed off until she tells you to go sleep on the couch, and you take all the covers with you.
A stress ball, made of concrete, and to throw at the person who`s stressing you out.