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“Hangover” makes it sounds like it’s all done now. I’d like to propose the term “hanghappening”.
It`s funny how when you post a status and some people think it`s about them..Hahahaha it was.
You have a point. It`s just not very sharp
Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning.
It`s a serious Lego project when the 1st thing my 5yo does is take off his shirt and gets me a beer from the fridge.
Double-Stuffed Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.
When I was a kid I remember I fell asleep in the couch and woke up in the bed, now I fall asleep in the couch and wake up on the floor.
If video games have taught me anything, it’s that if you encounter enemies then you’re going the right way.
I hate it when I think I`m buying ORGANIC vegetables but when I get home I discover they`re just REGULAR donuts...
Thinking about waking up early for a run. Mostly thinking about how I will not be doing that.
I put the hot in psychotic.
A good way to mess with a jogger is to run up alongside him and say, "It`s okay, I think we lost him."
I bet if Jesus had turned water into Vodka. The Bible would`ve been a lot more interesting.
It`s not you, it`s me. I can`t stand you.
Bill Gates: A billi a billi a billi JayZ: Half billi half billi half billi Lil Wayne: A milli a milli a milli Me: A dollar a dollar a dollar