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Where do homeless people find all these sharpies?
Crap, summer is here and I`m nowhere near in drinking shape yet.
The hardest thing about looking for work is the sobriety.
Still waiting for the day I can illegally download groceries
The Hulk just texted me a picture of a zucchini, I think?
I can`t wait to get home and have make-up sex! ... I`ve been arguing all day with myself.
I`ve been running as fast as I can, but I still can`t catch my breath.
It`s so cold, I just got a $5 foot long from subway, but by the time I got back to my car it was only 6 inches.
Where is the "Made In China" labels made?
Our neighbor said he wouldn`t mind me stealing their newspaper if I would at least put a robe on first.
I wonder how many people die each year as a result of lifeguards running in slow motion.
When I`m cleaning my room, 1% cleaning 29% moaning 70% playing with stuff I just found.
Relationships are not a test... So why cheat?
Why do they call it "Jew-ish"? Are they not Jew enough?
most teens are switching to twitter instead of facebook. noone wants to get on facebook and catch dad pocking mom... if you kno what I mean;)