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It`s not everyday you find a $50 bill in your pocket, I didn`t, but like I said it`s not everyday..
Edward Cullen is extremely pale due to the lack of light in the closet.
It`s getting warm out. I can finally get back to smacking people and blaming it on mosquitos!
Most people decide to have scramble eggs immediately after thinking: "I`ll just flip this omelette"
Somebody tell me how "Rub a dub dub, 3 men in a tub" became a nursery rhyme?
I hate when my friends stand so close to me when pictures are being taken. It`s like they don`t know I plan on cropping them out later.
I love screwing with the minds of the foreign tech support guys. “My name is Perry, not Terry. With a P as in Pterodactyl.”
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
My inner child has a bottle of vodka in one hand, a whip in the other and a broken halo sticking out of her back pocket.
If a zombie apocalypse were to happen in Vegas... would it stay in Vegas?
Don`t ya wish you could hold people up to the light like a $20 bill to tell if they`re fake or real?
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I have good taste, I just don`t have the money to prove it.
Apparently people don`t like it when you lick your thumb and wipe all that black dirt off their forehead.
I never drink unless I am alone or with somebody.