Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I purposely bought the same grill my neighbor has, so every time it needs to be cleaned, I just switch them at night.
There are many different ways one can save energy, but my favorite by far is this recliner.
If there are ice cream trucks in the summer, why aren’t there Starbucks pumpkin spice latte trucks in the winter?
If I was Neil Armstrong landing on the moon, "That`s one small step for man," would have been, "Screw you every girl who ever shot me down!"
I`m so broke, if somebody tried to rob me right now, they would just be practicing.
I wish the guy who made the vacuum cord would chat with the guys that make phone chargers.
If you don’t want to marry me, why did you sit next to me on this bus?
I’d get a lot more sleep if I didn’t insist on reading the entire internet every night.
I twisted my ankle playing vodka last night.. Next question
I have removed all the unhealthy food from my house ... It was delicious.
I don’t have a bad handwriting, I have my own font.
My favorite part about your rant on how much you hate social media sites was when you posted it from a social media site.
Divorce: Step 1: She throws all your sh!t in the street Step 2: The judge says you have to give it all back to her.
Just dropped off some film to be processed. More on this story as it develops.
"Are you even listening to me?" is a weird way for my girlfriend to start a conversation.