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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Great idea for an April Fools Prank ... Hide all of the desktop icons on someone`s computer and replace their wallpaper with a screenshot of their old desktop.
My pessimism has never failed me, but I`m sure someday it will.
Sometimes it looks like I’m flashing gang signs, but really I’m just trying to get Scotch tape off my hand.
Yes I am a bad boy ... But your the one that`s going to get spanked.
This by far is your most f*ck up idea ever ... I`ll be there in 10 minutes.
When people I don’t know ask me what I do for a living I shout β€œKarma,” and punch them before running away.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
B!tch life isn`t a garden ... So stop being a hoe!
Note to self: Asking the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your Facebook status in no way helps you get out of a DUI.
Procrastinators Unite!! ... tomorrow.
Sometimes after many years of marriage, you just look at your wife and wonder how she stayed with you this long without you killing her.
You`re in your 20`s... you don`t have "haters"... you have "adults" that think you are "annoying"
I’m not in denial, I’m just selective about the reality I choose to accept :)
Sometimes my mind wanders, other times it leaves completly. ;)
Holy sh!t Karma, how much longer till we`re all squared up?